May 13, 2011

Posted by in Articles, Energy & Chakras, Self-Care | 3 Comments

Letting Things Slide

Letting Things Slide

Have you ever had someone voice concerns to you that you’d never thought of and wondered, “Gosh, should I be worried about this too?”

This happened to me recently, when a friend mentioned concerns she has about her older daughter, and left me sort of faltering for the rest of the day. Do I need to worry too? If it’s too early to know, should I worry just in case just because it might leave me feeling more prepared?

I used to see worry as insurance against something bad happening. I felt like, if I thought enough about potential negative outcomes, I could be ready in case they came to be.

Over time, though, I came to see that worrying resulted in the opposite of what I want for myself: happiness. Worrying, especially before a situation worthy of concern has even come to pass, is really counterproductive. We can’t worry ourselves to happiness and joy. We can’t push all the negative possibilities away with worry and then find ourselves content. It’s just not how things work. Focusing on worrisome thoughts tends to only lead to further concern. Not to overly simplify things, but happiness does tend to beget more happiness; worry more worry.

Perhaps this sounds obvious, but despite knowing this, I sat with these potential concerns recently and really pondered for the entire day if I should worry. Or, if not worry, at least prepare myself for potential difficulty.

I finally decided to let it slide. I let the worries go, because I knew they weren’t going to help me. First I had to take a hard look at my situation and decide if the concerns were justified in my situation. When I decided there was no evidence yet to support it, I decided to let the worry go. I made the conscious decision to let go of the concern, in the interest of my own happiness. Because I’ve found that my happiness affects both me and my family, I want to protect it.

None of us know exactly what lays ahead for us or our children. There are enough potential concerns that, if you choose to focus on them, you could spend your children’s entire lives terrified. But is this justified? Is it the way you want to live?

It’s not what I want. I want to feel joy and to bring joy to other people. As much as possible, I want to be a grounding force of light. Are there days when I can’t quite pull this off? Sure there are. But focusing on what I really want for myself, my family, and our world has made a huge difference in my life, and I want to keep that positive momentum going. I want to put my energy into the things I want and, as much as possible, keep from feeding negative energy. It may be something I need to remind myself of from time to time, but when another friend reminded me that it’s really a choice whether to hold on to worry or not, I did the thing that made the most sense to me at the time… I let it go.

  1. Mary Jo says:

    Oh Yeah!
    Your Gramma Bette says, “Let Go, Let God”. It’s easier said then done, but what a difference it makes when we can do it. Wonderful article Ali. xo

  2. Rebecca Lang says:

    I can relate. I come from a long line of worriers and only recently found out how much my mother worried over her children. She hid this rather well, which gives me hope that I can project a confident persona to my son even when feeling seriously concerned about the potential dangers facing him. The reality is that there are legitimately things to worry about, but I agree that letting it go and moving to a more productive frame of mind is how to approach the situation. If, as parents, we can handle our anxiety, we will be equipped to model that behavior for our children.

  3. Rebecca-
    I couldn’t agree more!
    Rock on,
    Ali

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