Jul 7, 2011

Posted by in Articles, Energy & Chakras | 2 Comments

Keeping My Eyes on the Light

Keeping My Eyes on the Light

I’m not exactly sure why, but the past few days I’ve found myself feeling kind of sad. There are a few explanations, I suppose, not the least of which being the cumulative lack of sleep I’ve been feeling from my ten month old’s night wakings of late.

But I’ve also been sort of reeling from the recent verdict in the now infamous legal case involving the death of a child. As a lawyer and former appellate prosecutor, I find myself getting interested every so often in high-profile legal cases, and this case gripped me just as it did much of the rest of the nation.

The verdict surprised me and left me thinking about justice– which had been my impetus in becoming a lawyer in the first place. I’ve spent time trying to make sense of it all, and ultimately, much of what I’ve been able to glean is not about our legal system but about life, parenthood, and trying to live consciously.

So, far, here’s what I’ve got:

-Things are as they are at this point, and fighting it mentally isn’t going to change the outcome. In fact, giving energy to negativity and mentally railing against what is can only serve to hurt me and those around me. Being upset or despondent over the loss of a child whom I’ve never met while taking care of my own children who are right here now can hurt my children. If, on the other hand, I use this as a reminder of the gift that my children are in my life, if I can hug them a little more, be just a little more patient, just a little more loving, than something good has come of the situation.

-I wonder about the usefulness of all the focus on a case like this, in the first place. What are the advantages of a country focusing so much energy on a single case, when there are so many others that get so little attention, and so many other things going on in the world that affect all of us? We know (if we just turn on the t.v. to the evening news or the constant barrage of crime dramas that fill American television schedules) that our country is sort of obsessed with crime– why? And what do we gain from this? If we believe that “energy flows where attention goes,” what happens when we focus so much energy on crime and death? Why not, instead, focus on our LIVES, on joy, on love, and on bringing more good into the world?

-Parenthood is a journey full of (in addition to love, joy, and amazing lessons) plenty of challenges. It requires us to use all of our inner resources, bringing the best of ourselves to our parenting journey each day. But there will be days when we disappoint ourselves, when we wish we’d acted differently, when we have to mentally press a “restart” button and begin again, recommitting ourselves to parenting consciously instead of falling into old traps, bad habits, or thoughtless behavior. We need to be able to forgive ourselves for these moments and move on, knowing that we are bringing the best we have in each moment to our parenting journey and knowing that we’ll surely learn along the way.

-Parenting is such an important facet of our lives and those of our children. We literally have their lives– physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, in our hands. It is a profound responsibility, and one that requires our conscious presence.

Tonight, after feeling this sadness for a while, I took my kids on a walk as the hot summer sun started to fade. As I stepped outside into the beautiful evening light, a bird flew overhead, directing my attention to the stunning light peeking out from behind the clouds. Something inside me shifted in that moment, and I suddenly knew that I needed to keep myself focused on the light. I am so fortunate. I have two sweet, joyful, loving children who have opened life up to me in a new way. As a family, we have been so blessed. Of course, there are difficult moments, but there are so many more wonderful, joy-filled moments, and I know that it benefits me and everyone around me to keep my eyes focused on those things. As parents, it makes sense that we would feel for all children and want the best for them. But we have two real options as far as that goes– we can work to change the conditions children face and we can work to bring our best to our own children. But feeling sadness, alone, isn’t going to help anyone. What I do with that sadness will make all the difference.

I have been reminded this week to keep my eyes on the light in my own life, to redouble my own efforts to bring love, peace, understanding, and light into the lives of my children and those around me. It is a reminder that I am grateful for. From the sadness, I seek to bring a whole different energy to the world. In that way, we can bring something good into the world in the place of the sadness we may have felt. In that way, one small life can serve to make a real difference in the millions of lives it touched. It can point us back to the light.

  1. Thank you Alexandra for this beautiful essay. I often perceive God in the ever changing beautiful light here in Hawaii where I live. It is an ever present reminder to focus on the spiritual light within each one of us, cultivating a focus on the love within, instead of the chaos and confusion outside and around us. Any step we can take in the direction of light and love is a positive movement and help to not only ourselves, but to our children and to the world. Many blessings, Jennie Lee http://www.stillnessinmotion.info

  2. Jennie-
    Thank you so much for your comment! The light in Hawaii is stunning, and I can see how it would provide you such spiritual inspiration. What an amazing place to live.

    I wholeheartedly agree with you.

    All the best to you and your children,

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