Dec 2, 2011

Posted by in Articles, Health & Wellness, Self-Care | 3 Comments

On Having More Fun

On Having More Fun

I’ve always been serious. I like to think I have a pretty good sense of humor, but it doesn’t always find its way out into the light. Sometimes it needs a little poking and prodding. When I’m hanging out with really fun and gregarious people, my fun side comes out a little more easily (luckily, my husband is one of these people). But, left to its own devices, my serious side often wins.

However, recently I decided to throw caution to the wind and do something I’d wanted to do for a long time: I started a style, design, and fashion blog. I had been mulling it for a while, and had found myself really inspired by similar blogs by others, but something had held me back. I think it was my serious side trying to keep control. It told me to avoid such frivolity, to keep focused on “important” matters. What would people think, after all? Ahh, the old “what would people think?” that has controlled many of my decisions in the past rose to the surface.

But I’ve learned over the years that all decisions can’t be based on what others think (in fact, that’s how I’ve gotten myself into the most trouble). I think that our decisions are the best when we’re following our inner guidance. So after consulting with my inner guidance, and my inner stylist, I went for it and started In Jackie’s Shoes. It’s a style, fashion, and design blog geared toward mothers, because frankly, what applies to one’s fashion and design sensibilities at 22 does not always withstand the life-change of having children (for instance, stilettos and microminis, if they ever were part of your life, are hard to sustain when carrying children or bending down to pick up the things they seem to enjoy leaving on the floor). Will it be for everyone? No. And that’s cool. One thing that’s amazing about the internet is that there’s lots of just about anything you could possibly be interested in. So those who are interested, welcome! Those who are not, rock on!

I have already had a great deal of fun with the new site. It is a creative outlet that I didn’t otherwise have, and it allows me to give my serious self a nap. I get to think about fashion for moms and kids, home design, and other aspects of style and write about them. I can hardly think of anything more fun!

And that’s the thing– somewhere in the whole growing up and having a family process, I was forgetting about having fun. Sure, I jump in moonbounces and build snowmen with my kids, but I mean doing things that were geared to my own fun and enjoyment. I remember feeling that my creativity was dying when I was in law school (if you want to learn to suck the creativity out of your writing, take a legal writing class ;-) ). Starting Conscious Moms helped me to be more creative. And now my new site has allowed me even more of it.

It doesn’t all have to be serious. In fact, sometimes it shouldn’t be. For good or ill, having children can often be accompanied with worry. Left to my own devices, I could worry about my kids a fair amount of the time. But I don’t think that’s good for either of us. Instead, I channel my energies toward other things: focusing on the good in our lives, the things that are going right, compounding our successes, seeing the light. And now I have a whole new way of channeling my energy toward fun.

Do you have enough fun in your life? Would you like to have more? If so, think about the things that bring you joy, that make you smile, that you might like to do if you were starting all over. And then see if you can find a way to do them. Because I don’t think we’re here on this Earth for just serious matters. I think we’re here to make the very most of this life we have. And I can’t imagine a better way to make more of my own life, right now, than by injecting some fun into it.

  1. So true! For me, starting to play tennis again in my late 30s has really put fun back into my life!!On the court, I am no longer someone’s wife or mom, it’s just plain old me having a great time!

  2. That is so great, Ni! Sometimes I think that half the battle is figuring out what you enjoy, separate from your roles as spouse, mother, colleague, etc. It’s so great that you found something that makes you happy- and make time for it. Kudos to you!!

  3. Wonderful moment in our lives, when we find ” fun” again.
    When Mike was in Little League and the twins and Meghan were under the bleachers playing in the dirt, I was sitting above them, worrying about work, and all the cleaning, laundry, and canning I was getting behind in, and planning how I was going to have to round up the troops after the game, get baths and late dinner and clean up accomplished without meltdown on all our tired parts. Mike looked up from the bench with a smile that held so much joy, it shocked me.
    Even tho he didn’t play much, he was having a ball. I could hear the laughter of the other three drifting up from under me, and realized that fun was right in front of me. What waited at home would be there forever, but this moment was transient. That old “Be Here, Be Now” book flashed in front of me and that was my wake up call to fun.
    I love this article because it reminds me how important fun is to our personal identity. Thanks so much.

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